We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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