Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
