Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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