Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
