Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize