Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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