We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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