You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize