It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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