She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your penis caused this!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
