I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
