I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He passed out mid-signature
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
