Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
