For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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