Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
