Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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