I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
