It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
