I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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