Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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