...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
