College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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