She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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