Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Soap is not a condiment
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
