quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he quoted the bible to break up with me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize