yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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