how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
