How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
