wanna go halves on a baby?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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