i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
