He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
this just has baby written all over it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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