Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
