If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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