We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
