Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
