wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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