i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry about my life...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
