I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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