the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize