can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
