so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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