Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
