The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
