So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize