I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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