Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
