wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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