So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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