Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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