Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
