And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
