Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize