Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
