So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
