My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
