I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
