just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
