When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize