so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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